Do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?

The following is an email that my aunt forwarded to me, and I absolutely love it.   As she said to me, “I always knew I liked whales.”  Please, read and enjoy!

Recently, in a large French city, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said: ¨THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?¨ A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.

To Whom It May Concern:

Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans). They have an active sex life, they get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins, stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Barren Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia. Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.

Mermaids don’t exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don’t have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them not to mention how could they have sex? Therefore they don’t have kids either. Not to mention who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me; I want to be a whale.

P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver and a coffee with my friends. With time we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren’t heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, ¨Good gosh, look how smart I am.¨

Goodwill Gold

I scored a big win today at Goodwill in OC. Two, actually

First, I’ve been looking for some kind of multi-slot organizer for receipts and mail and such to keep by the front door. Of the five retailers I’ve visited in the last week, only one had what I wanted, for about $17 … which ain’t happenin. The other solution was 2-3 magazine files … $3 each for ugly plastic or $6 apiece for heavy-duty cardboard, or $10+ for leather, bamboo, fabric, etc. Yeah, right!

Three-Fourths of the Quartet - $5 for the set at Goodwill!

Off to Goodwill instead. I had to dig about, but there it was … a sturdy, wooden, three-section mail sorter … at least 12″x8″, with cutouts for three photos in the front too! Best part, only 5 bucks. Yahoo! It’s gonna take some cleaning, and I want to paint it, but more on that for another post.

Anyway, here’s the real winner. After unearthing the mail sorter, I wandered a bit more to see if there was anything else I “needed” … I’m a bargain hunter, what can I say? A quartet of ceramic figures caught my eye from an endcap, and I grabbed them for a closer look. Four chubby, mustached little chefs, just like those on my kitchen clock and towels and pot holders! I knew I had to have them, but I also knew my dear hubby would scold me about the $9.99 price tag. Nonetheless, I carried them around as I meandered a bit more, unwilling to part with my find just yet.

The head chef, perhaps?

Finally, I approached the checkout and mentally prepared myself to hand the chefs over with the words, “I’ve decided not to get these,” when I saw the half-price sticker of the day. I’d hardly dared to hope that my little quartet would be the right one, but there it was! The colors matched! For just $5 instead of $10, I had to get these guys, and ask forgiveness from the hubby later

BTW, as enamored as I am by new kitchen inhabitants, I must admit I’m not sure of their intended purpose. Their hats are actually little corks, so obviously they’re meant to store something, but what?

Family Feud’s Revealing Question

I rarely watch TV. When I do, it’s generally during my lunch break at work because the TV’s always on anyway. At home, I hardly ever can just sit and watch; it feels like a waste of time. I do sometimes however flip it on for background noise while I’m doing something else, like today.

Taking a break from housecleaning this afternoon (yay, our laundry is totally done and our kitchen is spotless for once) I switched on the TV and happened to catch Family Feud. Sitting down with a pile of coupons to cut, at one point I found myself drawn into a segment where the question was “Besides washing their bodies, what is something people do in the shower?” The first answer given was my own first thought: shampoo/condition one’s hair. Another no-brainer was to shave, and the top answer was sing. The contestants offered a few other reasonable suggestions like planning one’s day or using the hot water as a massage for “tired old bones” LOL but the only other answer that the host accepted was brushing one’s teeth.

Finally, the round was over and the host asked for the remaining answers to be unveiled.  The first was making love, to which all those onscreen raised their eyebrows and glanced at one another … making me wonder if they’d all been thinking it but didn’t want to say it.   The next answer to be exposed was “tinkle” … and yes, that includes the quotation marks.  I thought, seriously, the people surveyed gave that answer?  Obviously the host and contestants were having the same reaction.  And then the final display was “clean the shower” to which the host replied, “Well now I have to!”

And this is what I get for watching TV.  Wow.  I think I’m putting in a movie now instead.